Well, we started a new therapy. I hadn't heard of it until I spoke with another adoptive mom who had done this therapy with her adopted son.
It's quite intensive, but it seems to be making a difference in Jacob's behavior. We've been doing it for two weeks now and the first week he was a WRECK! But after one particularly intense meltdown then a 3 hr. nap, he's been doing better.
I have him crawl on his tummy, we do tactile therapy, (similar to brushing in OT) we do what I call spinning therapy or vestibular movements..there's more but they are even harder to explain.
If we complete them all it takes at least 2 hours. But for the first time, he sat fairly still in public for about 45 minutes. I couldn't believe it. He never stops moving, but he rested on my lap or on the blanket watching the "Reptile Man" at the library :)
I am cautiously optimistic...I figure crawling, spinning and new textures can't hurt him..so we're going for it.
If I were more energetic I'd attach an article or something to describe it all, but I don't know if anyone cares to read it... but if you do, here is the therapists website www.susansbrain.com
It does make me think that there are many adults walking around today who didn't get enough tummy time to make all the necessary connections in the brain and their inappropriate behavior is truly biological, not just stupidity..
It sure is teaching me to be less judgemental.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
finally summer!
The logjam, this picture only shows a small part of it.
After 8 months of cold, it has finally decided to warm up! We decided to celebrate John's birthday by going hiking up Oneonta falls. It was a lot of fun. I carried Jacob on my back over the gigantic log jam, Noah did fine by himself, totally in his element and John helped Grace as she dealt with the abundance of nature. She's doing much better than she used to; but dirt, bugs and pokey things that live outside, generally stress her out.As I was carrying Jacob over the logs he was cheering me on. Saying, "you are so strong mom!"
"Good job" & "wow you are fast!" Every comment was making me smile bigger and bigger. As he would watch John and the kids go by logs he'd shout at them to "duck" or "be careful".
Those are powerful words, words of compassion and caring. Words said by a child who is loved and is learning to love others in return!
Friday, June 04, 2010
Jacob's cousins are coming to visit. We are going to have 3 Haitian 3 year olds staying here! Not to mention their teenage sister, Grace and Noah, oh and the puppy. It should be interesting and definately entertaining.
I will be taking pictures if I have a free hand.
While they are here we are going to have a Haitian picnic. There are three other families that we are going to meet with who adopted from Haiti as well. Two of the families brought their kids home on special Visas because of the earthquake. There will be 8 Haitian kids in all. Kids who have been home from 5 years to only 5 months. It will be powerful and I hope encouraging to see how God can heal over time.
Since we began our adoption journey I have hoped and prayed that God would bring other families into our lives that look like ours. I want Jacob to know he is not the only little boy who doesn't "match" his family. It's exciting to think that on that evening when Jacob looks around, his family will look normal.
I am believing that God will bring many more situations like these into our lives...
One week till they get here :)
I will be taking pictures if I have a free hand.
While they are here we are going to have a Haitian picnic. There are three other families that we are going to meet with who adopted from Haiti as well. Two of the families brought their kids home on special Visas because of the earthquake. There will be 8 Haitian kids in all. Kids who have been home from 5 years to only 5 months. It will be powerful and I hope encouraging to see how God can heal over time.
Since we began our adoption journey I have hoped and prayed that God would bring other families into our lives that look like ours. I want Jacob to know he is not the only little boy who doesn't "match" his family. It's exciting to think that on that evening when Jacob looks around, his family will look normal.
I am believing that God will bring many more situations like these into our lives...
One week till they get here :)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
it's the little things
Sometimes I get so worn out by all of Jacob's intense activity. His desire to always be in control, his constant motion and his extremely loud voice. But today I saw a few beautiful moments that I want to remember...so when I am brushing his teeth tomorrow and he won't keep his mouth open for more than 2 seconds, I will take a deep breath and remember these little things.
-Tonight, on our way to the car he stood in front of the elevator door, blocking it until I could get in safely. Then as we got out, he kept his eye on me until I was completely out and told me not to get squished.
-He lovingly rested his arm around John's neck, or behind his back through most of dinner.
-He watched Toy Story for the first time today, and afterwards spent 20 minutes running around pretending to be Buzz Lightyear.
-This morning I showered and got ready without having to break up any fights or put him in timeout. It is the first time since he's been home that this has happened!
-He layed his head on my shoulder as we were walking to the car after dinner. This is new behavior too, as opposed to staying upright and refusing to relax.
-and finally, this morning he woke up around 6 which is normal for him and instead of bugging Grace or Noah, or sneaking food out of the pantry, he played in his room quietly!
God is healing him..little by little.
-Tonight, on our way to the car he stood in front of the elevator door, blocking it until I could get in safely. Then as we got out, he kept his eye on me until I was completely out and told me not to get squished.
-He lovingly rested his arm around John's neck, or behind his back through most of dinner.
-He watched Toy Story for the first time today, and afterwards spent 20 minutes running around pretending to be Buzz Lightyear.
-This morning I showered and got ready without having to break up any fights or put him in timeout. It is the first time since he's been home that this has happened!
-He layed his head on my shoulder as we were walking to the car after dinner. This is new behavior too, as opposed to staying upright and refusing to relax.
-and finally, this morning he woke up around 6 which is normal for him and instead of bugging Grace or Noah, or sneaking food out of the pantry, he played in his room quietly!
God is healing him..little by little.
Friday, May 14, 2010
reality
After all our efforts to get Jacob's passport, we aren't going to Costa Rica afterall. They won't allow us to bring him with us. Unless you have lived with a child who's experienced early childhood trauma, it's difficult to understand why it would be such a big deal for us to leave him with Grandma and Grandpa. Especially since they are wonderful and he is very close to them.
He looks so normal playing out in the cul-de-sac, or playing at one of our friend's houses. Ok, maybe a little more hyper and intense than most 3 year olds, but fairly normal. However, it's like a beautiful house with a crooked foundation, it doesn't take much of a storm to cause serious damage.
When we drove to California a few weeks ago, Jacob was away from John for 3 days. He asked repeatedly for John all the way down there, which is fairly normal, but the day before John arrived Jacob was completely silent. He wanted me to hold him and he would barely talk.
The last time I saw similar behavior was the day before we drove away from Colorado as we were moving to Oregon. Grace acted the same way as she was losing all she had ever known, her home, her neighborhood, her school, her friends and Erin. But her behavior was proportionate to her loss. Whereas Jacob's behavior doesn't match the situation.
Here is one more example. During Grace's show, Annie, we got a babysitter for him because I knew he wouldn't be able to sit quietly through the whole thing. He knows her and she's watched him before, but never without the other two kids being home. She said it went, "fine" but the next day he had a horrible day. Many timeouts and tantrums. It was worth it so we could all enjoy watching Grace do her thing without any distractions. But I payed dearly for it.
If that is how he reacts to 3 days away from John, or to being alone with a babysitter, I am sure 5 days without both of us would cause a much more intense reaction.
I have no problem skipping a trip to Costa Rica so we can keep Jacob on the path to wholeness.
Not because I am unselfish, but because I have been walking through his hurt with him over the last two years. I have been the recipiant of much of his anger and defensiveness. The last thing I want to do is go back one step and have to re-do any of the bonding or trust work we have done.
I never would have imagined that two years into this there would still be healing that would need to happen. But I did not have realistic expectations..just like every other mom about to bring home a new baby! It took him over a year to allow me to hold his bottle or sippy cup. This Easter he fell asleep on me for the first time since we were in Haiti. Just today he sat facing me and leaned his head on my shoulder while I was sitting still...and rested there. First time ever!
He's just recently allowing Grace to play with him and redirect or even correct him without flipping out in anger and hitting her. And only this spring is he able to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds.
This is our day to day reality. This is why I nap! But I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I know that I know that I know, we are right in the center of God's will. So we don't get to go to Costa Rica, it's a bummer. But I also know God's looking out for us and there will be other trips, probably even better ones comin' for us...
He looks so normal playing out in the cul-de-sac, or playing at one of our friend's houses. Ok, maybe a little more hyper and intense than most 3 year olds, but fairly normal. However, it's like a beautiful house with a crooked foundation, it doesn't take much of a storm to cause serious damage.
When we drove to California a few weeks ago, Jacob was away from John for 3 days. He asked repeatedly for John all the way down there, which is fairly normal, but the day before John arrived Jacob was completely silent. He wanted me to hold him and he would barely talk.
The last time I saw similar behavior was the day before we drove away from Colorado as we were moving to Oregon. Grace acted the same way as she was losing all she had ever known, her home, her neighborhood, her school, her friends and Erin. But her behavior was proportionate to her loss. Whereas Jacob's behavior doesn't match the situation.
Here is one more example. During Grace's show, Annie, we got a babysitter for him because I knew he wouldn't be able to sit quietly through the whole thing. He knows her and she's watched him before, but never without the other two kids being home. She said it went, "fine" but the next day he had a horrible day. Many timeouts and tantrums. It was worth it so we could all enjoy watching Grace do her thing without any distractions. But I payed dearly for it.
If that is how he reacts to 3 days away from John, or to being alone with a babysitter, I am sure 5 days without both of us would cause a much more intense reaction.
I have no problem skipping a trip to Costa Rica so we can keep Jacob on the path to wholeness.
Not because I am unselfish, but because I have been walking through his hurt with him over the last two years. I have been the recipiant of much of his anger and defensiveness. The last thing I want to do is go back one step and have to re-do any of the bonding or trust work we have done.
I never would have imagined that two years into this there would still be healing that would need to happen. But I did not have realistic expectations..just like every other mom about to bring home a new baby! It took him over a year to allow me to hold his bottle or sippy cup. This Easter he fell asleep on me for the first time since we were in Haiti. Just today he sat facing me and leaned his head on my shoulder while I was sitting still...and rested there. First time ever!
He's just recently allowing Grace to play with him and redirect or even correct him without flipping out in anger and hitting her. And only this spring is he able to hold eye contact for more than a few seconds.
This is our day to day reality. This is why I nap! But I wouldn't trade it for anything, and I know that I know that I know, we are right in the center of God's will. So we don't get to go to Costa Rica, it's a bummer. But I also know God's looking out for us and there will be other trips, probably even better ones comin' for us...
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
more paperwork!?!
It's amazing that after two years, there can still be more paperwork to do. We applied for a US passport for Jacob. Just in case John wins a trip to Costa Rica he's competing for at work. It all started by mailing all sorts of irreplaceable documents to some eastcoast state. Then yesterday I get a phone call during our school time. I didn't answer because I am trying to be more disciplined about making sure nothing interferes with our sit down time at the table.
So right before lunch I checked the messages. I heard, "this is Mark" loud talking from children, "Jacob's passport", more noise, "we need more.." chatter from Jacob. I reached to turn the volume up and in my overstimulated, hungry daze I accidentally pushed delete.
I gasped. Finally all the kids were silent, staring at me.
So this morning I spent two hours, (during the time I am trying desperately to preserve for school) trying to reach to Mark in passports, then I made an infopass appointment at our local immigration office, talked to Tim at immigration, Jim our social worker, and then Larry the lawyer.
It all ended with Larry telling me that it will take two months to get the documentation we need in order for Jacob to get his passport. The trip in is two and a half weeks. Nice.
What I did learned today...
*we need to re-adopt Jacob in OR anyway so he can have a US issued birth certificate
*I have matured quite a bit over the years, because I never yelled, cried or freaked out throughout the whole morning even though my entire plan for the school day was obliterated
*I learned a lot about calling government offices and dealing with red tape when I was doing all of Jacob's original adoption paperwork. This type of activity used to really stress me out!
*sometimes it's fun to make up school as you go along. We had a spelling bee today, and Grace and Noah loved it! I know that wouldn't have happened if I my day had gone as planned
*we should be able to travel to Costa Rica afterall with Jacob's Haitian passport and his Permanent Resident card!
Now, I just have to cancel that Infopass appointment for tomorrow at the Immigration office, get Jacob's original documents back from Mark, collect all the documentation we need to re-adopt him and take it to Larry the lawyer. Oh, and figure out what we're doing for school tomorrow.
So right before lunch I checked the messages. I heard, "this is Mark" loud talking from children, "Jacob's passport", more noise, "we need more.." chatter from Jacob. I reached to turn the volume up and in my overstimulated, hungry daze I accidentally pushed delete.
I gasped. Finally all the kids were silent, staring at me.
So this morning I spent two hours, (during the time I am trying desperately to preserve for school) trying to reach to Mark in passports, then I made an infopass appointment at our local immigration office, talked to Tim at immigration, Jim our social worker, and then Larry the lawyer.
It all ended with Larry telling me that it will take two months to get the documentation we need in order for Jacob to get his passport. The trip in is two and a half weeks. Nice.
What I did learned today...
*we need to re-adopt Jacob in OR anyway so he can have a US issued birth certificate
*I have matured quite a bit over the years, because I never yelled, cried or freaked out throughout the whole morning even though my entire plan for the school day was obliterated
*I learned a lot about calling government offices and dealing with red tape when I was doing all of Jacob's original adoption paperwork. This type of activity used to really stress me out!
*sometimes it's fun to make up school as you go along. We had a spelling bee today, and Grace and Noah loved it! I know that wouldn't have happened if I my day had gone as planned
*we should be able to travel to Costa Rica afterall with Jacob's Haitian passport and his Permanent Resident card!
Now, I just have to cancel that Infopass appointment for tomorrow at the Immigration office, get Jacob's original documents back from Mark, collect all the documentation we need to re-adopt him and take it to Larry the lawyer. Oh, and figure out what we're doing for school tomorrow.
I'll try again
I am going to try to start blogging again. But we'll see. It's been two years since Jacob has been home and WHOAH! has it been quite a learning and growing experience for all of us. But by the grace of God we are not only hanging in there, but we are thriving! Tired, but thriving.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Jacob's 3
On the 12th I won't have a two year old any more! Some moms are sad about leaving this age, I personally am looking forward to what this year holds for us. Jacob is getting more and more loving, fun and SO funny!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Jacob home 6 months
WOW, so Jacob's been home now 6 months and I am finally feeling like things are going smoothly with all the kids..
The kids are back in school, Jacob is taking good naps, he's not getting up at 5:45 anymore and he'll sit and watch Sesame Street for a few minutes if I need him to. These things all add up to a happy mom.
Life is good.
The kids are back in school, Jacob is taking good naps, he's not getting up at 5:45 anymore and he'll sit and watch Sesame Street for a few minutes if I need him to. These things all add up to a happy mom.
Life is good.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
it's all in Haiti now!
Finally, all the paperwork is at the embassy in Haiti! Even the one document that I sent to Portland to be processed in OCTOBER!! But I finally got an e-mail from our orphanange that says the embassy has it..so not only is it there in theory, it's actually there in reality!
So, one step closer. It seems like it could be any day now that we hear, but I'm prepared to wait...because I thought it could be "any day" in December!
I just keep choosing to believe that God knows better than I do and he will not allow Jacob to stay there one more day than he is supposed to...
Saturday, October 27, 2007
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Jacob in AugustOk, as of today, one month waiting for Jacob's passport and counting!
Dixie at our orphanage said she's received 15 files in the last 10 days out of "passports".We're getting excited and I'm starting to think things are going to fly from here on out considering Grace's b-day, Diane's visit for Thanksgiving, my b-day, our anniversary, Christmas and New years! These next few weeks are going to be the last calm weeks for quite awhile I think. And somewhere in the middle of all that, I'm praying we'll get an e-mail that says..
"buy your plane tickets and come get Jacob".
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Finally, something worthy of posting!!!!!!!
Well, I got an e-mail from the orphanage and Jacob's paperwork came out of 2nd legal and is being prepared to go into MOI to wait for his passport. WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!
YAY! And even though this step is taking some people up to 5 long months, I am encouraged and SO excited that we are onto the last stage. When his paperwork comes out of MOI he'll get his passport printed then wait a few weeks for the visa and then we're off to Haiti to bring my sweetie home!
I can't believe it! Oh, and now, legally Jacob belongs to our family. He is ours!
Praise God!
It's really going to happen...
YAY! And even though this step is taking some people up to 5 long months, I am encouraged and SO excited that we are onto the last stage. When his paperwork comes out of MOI he'll get his passport printed then wait a few weeks for the visa and then we're off to Haiti to bring my sweetie home!
I can't believe it! Oh, and now, legally Jacob belongs to our family. He is ours!
Praise God!
It's really going to happen...
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Bad Blogger!!!!
Ok, so obviously I'm not the best "blogger" in the world..
So here's the latest on Jacob for anyone who's actually checking.
His paperwork is in Parquet. The old adoption law from 1974 has been reinstated and we don't qualify under that law...the criteria are: over 35, married 10 or more yrs. and no bio. children.
Three strikes for us!
However the God's Littlest Angels website says that they are going to be voting on a new law soon and I am praying that we will qualify under this new law.
All that said...none of this is truly abnormal for Haitian adoptions and we are not panicked..just praying God will work it all out. Either change the hearts of the people who are holding things up, or move 'em out of office! "Change 'em or move 'em" That's what we pray in Mom's in Touch :)
Here's a verse I love.
"I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."
(I don't know where it's from right now, and don't have time to look it up, but it's either in the Old or the New Testament..he he)
So here's the latest on Jacob for anyone who's actually checking.
His paperwork is in Parquet. The old adoption law from 1974 has been reinstated and we don't qualify under that law...the criteria are: over 35, married 10 or more yrs. and no bio. children.
Three strikes for us!
However the God's Littlest Angels website says that they are going to be voting on a new law soon and I am praying that we will qualify under this new law.
All that said...none of this is truly abnormal for Haitian adoptions and we are not panicked..just praying God will work it all out. Either change the hearts of the people who are holding things up, or move 'em out of office! "Change 'em or move 'em" That's what we pray in Mom's in Touch :)
Here's a verse I love.
"I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."
(I don't know where it's from right now, and don't have time to look it up, but it's either in the Old or the New Testament..he he)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
IBESR
There are people coming out of IBESR (Haitian Social Services) with numbers that are only 200 away from ours!!! YAY! So there is potential for Jacob's paperwork to exit this stage anytime...OR not for awhile. They don't come out in order exactly, so litterally only God knows when his paperwork will come out. But I am hopeful and I know that Jacob needs to be with his mom and dad as soon as possible. And I know that God can do anything!
After that there are more stages, but each one should be shorter than this one.
As someone on the Haitian Angels chat group said, just like all things in Haitian adoption, "clear as mud!"
But at least every day we are one day closer to having our son come home :)
So, I am "living by faith, not by sight".
2 Corinthians 5:7
After that there are more stages, but each one should be shorter than this one.
As someone on the Haitian Angels chat group said, just like all things in Haitian adoption, "clear as mud!"
But at least every day we are one day closer to having our son come home :)
So, I am "living by faith, not by sight".
2 Corinthians 5:7
Thursday, April 12, 2007
March update
Well, we got new pictures of our sweet boy. Finally. Six weeks was the last time we saw a new picture of him! That's a long time!
One of the nannies is spoiling him with love. That warms my soul :) knowing that he is getting the love and touch that he should be getting from his family...
One of the nannies is spoiling him with love. That warms my soul :) knowing that he is getting the love and touch that he should be getting from his family...
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Waiting
No news....just waiting. We should be getting our March updates of Jacob any day now. So I'm checking my e-mail a lot these days. I can't wait to see his cute face and see how much he's grown.
waiting.................................
waiting.................................
Thursday, February 15, 2007
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