5 story fall

It has been five years since we brought this little fire-cracker home from Haiti.  It has taken nearly that long for me to realize that the struggles we deal with are our "new normal".  Month after month I kept thinking that as soon as we can solve this behavior problem or that relationship issue, then our life will go back to normal.  But it wasn't until recently that began to move towards acceptance of this new normal as I learned the concept of the "Five Story Fall".

This winter I spent some time in a support group that was lead by a wise woman named Paula Freeman.  She is an adoptive mom and has written a book for women who, through difficult adoption experiences, have found themselves lost and hopeless.  In her book called, A Place I Didn't Belong, she describes what she calls the Five Story Fall.

"We don't expect a person who falls from five story window to walk away unscathed; they'd be lucky to survive!"  "I believe it's fair to assume a five-story-fall-survivor will never be the same.  They may not walk again.  If they do, there would certainly be a noticeable limp." (Paula Freeman)  This idea of walking with a limp aptly describes the pain and wounds children bear who have come from hard places.  Many look normal and yet they carry hurts and scars that may stay with them for a lifetime.

Why did I initially believe that after a few months at home my little guy would be healed and fit perfectly in with my agenda and our family's busy life?  Looking back it seems shockingly naive.  At the time, I hoped he would come to us without emotional scars.  I prayed if he was hurting that after enough love he wouldn't display any residual effects from the first 18 months of his life.  However, five years into our adoption journey I am forced to accept that there is still much healing to be done. 

Do I continue to pray for total restoration of his spirit and soul?  Daily!  Do I believe God can heal the broken hearted and bring beauty out of ashes?  Oh, yes!  Will he do it in this lifetime?  I don't know.

However, I know the Bible says my life is like "a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." (James 4:14)  And as believers in Christ we will encounter trials.. "These troubles test your faith and prove that it is pure. And such faith is worth more than gold. Gold can be proved to be pure by fire, but gold will ruin. When your faith is proven to be pure, the result will be praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ comes."(1 Peter 7)  So as I live with my sweetie over the next 5, 10 or 15 years watching my beloved son bear the scars of his Five Story Fall I know there is hope.  I pray that he will decide to give his life to Christ and at that time, not only will the angels be partying but I will be too.  

I don't know what wounds you carry or whether you have experienced a Five Story Fall or even just a Two Story Fall.  Or perhaps if you are like me you live with someone who has experienced hurt that manifests itself regularly. After all, we live in a broken and hurting world and none of us make it through unscathed.  However, as I reflect on my life during these past five years I know the lessons God is teaching me are applicable to each of us. 

This life is temporary, like a mist, and trials which test our faith and prove it to be pure will result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus returns.

In addition, there will come a day when Jesus will wipe away the tears from every face. (Is. 25:8)

And finally, I like to imagine Jesus taking one of his scarred hands and placing it on my little fire-cracker's heart while looking him in the eye with the love of a perfect father and saying, "my child you are healed."  

 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows] 

Psalm 147:3 AMP

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word."

2 Thessalonians 2:16,17