Don't make me fall off my beam!

John went out of town for two days and our semi-difficult routine turned CRAZY! It isn't John's fault, the poor guy needs a break and got to go golfing at some fancy resort in Bandon, courtesy of Toyota. So I was delighted...ok not actually delighted, but at least supportive of him getting this short break.
Apparently Jacob did not like the idea of his dad being gone two nights. He was "disregulated"....that is a word I am learning to use instead of naughty, or In place of other unkind words that may come to mind. If you could see what disregulated looks like at our house you would have sympathy for me!
During these two endless days, my wonderful grandma had her 99th birthday party at her nursing home. Considering Jacob's state of mind, I had him stay at a friends house. I wanted to be fully present to celebrate this milestone with my grandma. I got to be alone in the car with Noah and would't you know it? We ended up talking about Jacob's distinct behavioral changes since John left for the beach.
We were discussing how little it takes to throw him off balance, when Noah the gymnast, came up with the best analogy...

He said, "it's like we are all on balance beams, Grace's balance beam is medium wide, and mine is really wide, but Jacob's is actually just a wire, like a tight-rope. So when anything changes in his life he falls off his wire."
This is exactly what it is like living with a child with attachment and trust issues! We keep a good routine and life for him is predictable so I tend to forget how easily he can become undone or disregulated. So when there has been a small change in our lives it is often his intense behavior that makes me aware of the change. Once again I reminded that he is still healing and even though he looks like he's a tough kid...his heart is still mending.
I am coping ok with him struggling to adapt to change, but I am pretty sure when Jacob falls off his wire, he runs over to my balance beam, climbs up onto it and starts shoving me off! When mom falls off her beam and becomes disregulated that is when it is time for John to come home from the beach!!