A lot has happened since I wrote last time. On New Years eve my husband got a text that changed our lives. A text! I didn't even know how to text until a few years ago.
The text turned into a phone call, which turned into a lunch, which turned into a job offer, which moved us across the country. In a matter of a few days John packed a month's worth of clothes and was on a flight to start his new job. The kids and I had a little over two weeks to pack the house, notify all our loved ones of our move, pay a substantial amount of money to the public library in late fees and find a home for the dog while we are in transition.
The very worst part of the whole situation was telling my parents. The day we found out the job was a reality, was the day after my parents left the state to visit my sister for a few months. I had to call and tell them we were moving and by the time they got home we would be gone. We would not be a few minutes away anymore, but thousands of miles away. I can truthfully say it was the most heart wrenching phone call I have had to make.
I am convinced that God has opened this door for us. Both John and I are at peace with our decision, but I have not caused the people I love such great pain since I was a self-absorbed teenager. The only positive aspect of being completely self-focused is that I was unaware of the hurt I was causing my loved ones. However, this time I have been keenly aware of the pain we have caused as we unexpectedly dashed out of their everyday lives.
How can following God's leading hurt the people I love?? I am convinced that we are in His will. In fact I was not surprised by the sudden change in our lives. I had been sensing a stirring in my spirit that God was up to something. But I was guessing it had to do with Haiti... (I still think that He is putting that together, but just not letting us in on it yet).
I am learning that following God can be painful and confusing at times. In fact this whole blog was born out of following God into unknown territory which has been difficult and uncomfortable. But in general, I was the only one who was hurting...ok, Grace would disagree. But it was generally me who has struggled, not my neighbors, closest friends, aunt, cousins or parents. It is one thing to step out in faith and struggle as a result, it is quite another to follow after God and inflict pain on loved ones along the way!
So here I sit in the basement of my dear friend's house, one week after arriving. It still feels like a visit more than a move. I don't have enough perspective to be objective and share what God has taught me, but I know He is faithful. For months I had a verse written on a white board in our family room, "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and He will make it a success". I know God's definition of success is different than the world's, but I am certain that it is success that will bring peace and truly satisfy. And that this type of success is what I was made for. So even as my head spins from change, I will continue to wake up each morning and choose to trust God with the ones we can't be near anymore, the house I said yes to buying, without walking ever through it, the house we left behind that I loved. And the new things He is doing in this next chapter of our lives.
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams on the wasteland.". Isaiah 43:18-19
